Dear Maria
If tears could build a stairway and heartaches make a lane, we'd walk the path to Heaven and bring you back again. A heart of gold stopped beating, a shining smile at rest , God broke our hearts to prove he only takes the best. Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but God will call us one by one and the chain will link again.
We love you and miss you so much,
Your brothers and sisters
Eulogy
It is hard for us to express our feelings in the loss of our dear sister Maria.
Our lives are filled with so much sadness and disbelief for what our beloved Maria had to endure in her untimely, horrific and tragic death. Our sudden loss has left us all full of unanswered questions. Maria was a genuinely beautiful, kind and caring person. She was a devoted mother, a loving daughter, sister, friend and wife whose life ended needlessly and ever so violently on March 19th.
Maria had finally found the courage to seek out a better life for both herself and her children. It was truly a heroic effort to have lived through so many years of abuse to have finally found the strength to break free. However, in her efforts to protect herself and her children, she sought help through both our legal system and the Albanian community, but both had grossly failed Maria. When our beloved sister was in such desperate need of love and support not even the church that she had put so much faith in, gave nor offered any protection. In her battle for safety, Maria was ultimately killed by the man she so desperately tried to escape.
While the outcome of Maria’s courageous battle represents the worst possible scenario imaginable to anyone, we find comfort in the fact that Maria is now in a better place.
Maria’s death leaves behind four beautiful children whose lives are going to be forever affected by this gruesome act. Her children will certainly need all of your continued support to get through the difficult road ahead.
I will never forget the day I asked Maria how she felt shortly after she had left her husband. She said to me “I feel like I can breathe….I feel like I’m walking on air”………
Maria……………May you always have that free, everlasting breath of fresh air as you are now safe in the arms of our Lord God in the skies of heaven……..
WE LOVE YOU. REST IN PEACE.
Miss all our late night chats, laughs, and cries....but most of all you. I'm glad we were able to share in some really good times in the past months , I will forever cherish those moments. Your death has left a void and heartache that no one can ever heal, but I know the beautiful memories we've shared no one can ever steal. You will forever be in my heart. I Love you and miss you so much! "Kunauta" Roz
62 comments:
Every night I go to bed and pray that when I wake up that this is all just a horrible dream, because you can't be gone. When I wake up, I don't open my eyes until I've said another prayer wishing you were lying next to me like you did for the few months we lived together. But you're gone Maria and it hurts so bad. I stand tall with my head up high when others are around but when I'm alone tears stream down my face uncontrollably. The pain I feel is unexplainable, nothing I have ever felt before, not just for me but for all of us. You would think a whole family died, not just one person, but then again it WAS like a whole family died. You not only were a sister, you were a mother, a daughter, an aunt, a sister-in-law, a mediator, a counselor, a teacher, but most of all our BEST FRIEND. I love you Maria and I miss you with every waking day...Tereze
I can't believe my childhood friend is not a phone call away. Looking back at all the married years gone by, I felt like I should have done more to be a part of her life. I would sneak out and meet with her privately. I would Visit her when I knew she was alone or at her parents house. Such a huge void. Every time I would see her, I would just reflect on the many good times, and hope to get back to that someday in our older years. I just didn't want to cause trouble for her, even though I knew she was living with a man who didn't deserve her. After learning her divorce last September, I cried like a baby, because I knew the challenge before her was going to be hard, but yet her spirit was finally free. She sustained the hardest of lives, unimaginable in the good old USA. May the children she leaves behind, ponder on the sacrifices she had made, thinking of others before herself. She now lives with her heavenly father, where there are no more tears, and joy unspeakable full of glory. I find solace here.
Your childhood friend, Lula
I think about you everyday. I just can't believe the fact you're no longer with us. It feels so surreal. One day your here and the next day you aren't. How could this happen? Why did you leave? Where did you go? What could I have done? What could we have changed? I just want to talk to you one more time...and I can't and it's just so devestating. I want to say goodbye in the way I never got the chance....I pray everyday that you have found the peace and happiness that you deserve. I miss you so much.
-Roz
Maria, tomorrow will be a month since we lost you - our sweet dear sister. I feel as if you are away on a long over due vacation. I went to visit you yesterday and it is so hard to believe that you are never coming back home. Every time the doorbell rings, I expect to see you and Kristina’s smiling faces. I image us having dinner, Joe and Kristina wrestling on the floor, just the four of us hanging out. I put a picture of you on our computer, the one I took of you in our English class - you smiling and looking so happy. We leave the computer monitor on all the time, just to see you. Every morning Joe and I go into the office to say good morning to you. We all hang out, visit each other on the weekends, and talk about the good times we shared with you - everyone getting along - missing our best friend. Maria, you are truly missed, we love you and we all wish you were here at home with your family.
One month today, our world changed - a selfish monster took you from us. We all came to visit you today, Val, Judy, Tereza, Tommy, Ann, Leka, Roz, mom, dad, Joe and I, and even Angie and Nico. Angie blew you kisses, dad knelt down and said a prayer, mom and the rest of us broke down. We miss you; this is the most horrible thing that could have ever happened to our family. We stayed a while and then left to spend time at Leka and Roz’s. We hung out, chatted for a while and as usual, we pigged out. I of course brought fruit and salad; Roz as usual out did her self, and Ann brought chocolate. You know the routine it was carb heaven - we even drank wine (Marisa’s favorite). Early today I spoke with Val, she and Kristina spent the day together at the carnival and had a great time. Joe and I even got a chance to talk with Kristina - Maria she is just like you, sweet as can be! She said she's doing ok, she misses everyone and she especially misses her mommy. We all love you, we all miss you and maybe one day we’ll move on - but we will never forget you!
Dear Maria, Words cannot express the loss. The void that ripples through the veins. One can't help but break down. You are missed terribly. The impact you have made will never be forgotten. Just looking at the pictures, your smile, the love you poured out to your family and friends. I only wish I could see you again, just hug on you, and say its all going to be OK. May your legacy that you left behind, your children, harbor the same characteristics of you. You will never be forgotten. I always loved you Maria. Lula
Well Maria... days and weeks have passed.....and our grief hasn't become any less intense as time goes by. It doesn't get any easier. We feel exhausted, cheated, and just plain...EMPTY. It seems impossible to ever recover from our loss. We've gotten together as a family to support and grieve with one another, but most of all to honor your life. We've shared the many wonderful memories we have of you with each other. It gives us a sense of support and it helps to not feel so isolated in our grief. We miss you so much and life will never be the same. I hope you knew how MUCH we loved you and that you meant the world to us........and ALWAYS will.
-Roz
My sister, my friend
What is it about having a sister?
you can spend so much of your
childhood in little fights …
… and then one day, you’re all grown-up and you realize
She’s one of your best friends - the kind of friend
who makes you wish you had
more time to spend with.
I guess it’s really true
what they say
about not being able to appreciate
some of life’s greatest gifts
until they are taken from us.
When I was younger,
I thought of you as just my older sister,
but now I realize that you’re not just my sister -
Maria, you are my best friend.
D
I was just on the site for Tara Grant and came across the post left by Maria's sister Dila. I would like to express my sympathy to Maria's family and friends. I've read many of the articles that surround this tragedy, and wonder just like all of you, why she wasn't protected. From what I've read, she reached out for help and protection and the system, and her church failed her. So many people have much to be sorry for. I pray that your family will someday find peace and forgiveness. Forgiveness.... so much easier said than done, but needed for you to carry on. I pray justice will be served for the family. All of you are in my prayer's.
Happy Mother's Day Maria!
You were a wonderful mother and a wonderful friend, and I miss you very much.
I am hurting so much for your family today. It must be very hard for them on this first Mother's Day without you. Oh I wish I could have helped you more so you could be here with them.
Love you my friend. Sandy
We miss you and it is not the same with out you and now I dont get to see kristina anymore so I really, really miss you. You will be always in my heart. Tina, Tereze, steven, peter, Kristina, Dila and everyone all miss you and so do I. I love you so much.I bet you are having a terrific time up there playing cards with gjuka(grandma)and I know you are and I am happy about it and again I love you.
Love Izzy.
dear maria:
You were my best freind and I should never be scared because I know your always there with me. Your in a better place now.
:love steven
oh yeah! I forgot to tell you HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!
Love you,
You better love me...lol tell gjuka I said HI!
Love Izzy
Hello Maria, its just me, your childhood friend, I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday. You were always 4 months older than I was. I should have been the one to go before you. But I can't bring you back. The tears just don't go away for us. Lord, please let good things come from this very sad departure. We miss Maria, and wish her 1st birthday party in heaven is a blast. We love her spirit, and miss her presence.
Happy Birthday Maria - we miss you! We will still however celebrate your birthday as we do every year. Instead of you blowing out the candles, we will all make a wish and blow out the candles together. You are truly missed. I know you are watching us from up above. Continue to watch over us. I love you my sweet dear sister. Happy 39th Birthday.
Momma,
This has been the second hardest week of my life. The first hardest would be the week you left this Earth. This week was not only mothers day, but also your birthday. I love and miss you more than words can express. Help these two families finally unite in your memory. We all need your help. Happy mothers day & Happy birthday mommy!
love you
xoxo
-Val-
Hi Maria its Judy talking to you here. I miss you. Words cant explain how much this whole terrible tragedy has torn us all apart. Maria you raised all of us, and we had such a short time with you. I still dont believe that you would have turned 39 years old. Instead of having a birthday celebration we have to visit you at the cemetary. Maria you will never be forgotten. I love you forever, and when I go to sleep I just cry myself to sleep. Lots of love. Sis Judy
Maria, every time I think of you all I can think of is your warm and loving smile. I wish I could say everything is all right, but I know you can see the sadness in our lives. To see such disappointing behaviors that certain young family members are exhibited, is so very hard to handle. It is hard enough to move forward in our lives without, but to have so much unnecessary heartache is just too much! Instead of us all getting together to comfort one another, these young family members just want to spread hateful and untrue lies about our family. We extend our hearts to them and they continue to say such unthinkable things. I know they are young and are told lies, but how are we suppose to heal? How are we suppose to move on? I understand that they were raised with a monster, but they were also raised with your love and unconditional support. I pray one day they will look back and see what they are doing is so very wrong. Thank God, other young family members are loving and caring like you. I know you are watching us from up above and I hope you can help these young lost souls.
Maria, I thought about you today, just as I do everyday. I tried to image what your life was like on an ordinary day. I realized you never lived an ordinary life. You lived with a coward who abused you and you children. Everyday you watched the emptiness in your children’s eyes. It finally hit me, you truly are in a better place than we are. You are finally at peace, for once in your life. To know you left your abusive life for a much happier life, not only for you but also for your children. It must have been the most difficult decision of your life. I cannot even image the sadness and disappointment that went through your mind with what your children have become. It is amazing, two of your children have the similar characteristics of their father and the other two are sweet innocent individuals like their mommy. I know you have already forgiven your children, I just wonder if they will ever forgive themselves. We miss you, continue to watch over us.
To Maria’s Family,
I am a friend of Maria’s from her past (before marriage & children) and came across this website with a heavy heart and flowing tears, my deepest condolences to Maria’s family and my thoughts & prayers are with you. What an unbearable loss but what better remembrance of Maria’s inextinguishable light than that you now illuminate each other’s lives, look after one another, be very patient and unreasonably kind to one another. Most important look after the kids who were in their mom’s eyes the very essence of all that is good and pure in this world. Be quick to listen and slow to talk, long on comfort and short on advice. And when words fail or are not called for, be willing simply to sit with the silence and keep company with the one who is sad. It is in doing this that we heal those who have suffered most greatly here, and in so doing it is how we come to heal ourselves as well. I know the memory will stay with us, Maria will stay with us, as will her death, until it becomes a part of us, never far away, but, with one another’s help, bearable. From the wise words of her daughter Val “Help these two families finally unite in your memory” this is what you must do for one another. No one else will do it for you. God has no hands on earth but ours. In Maria’s name help and love each other a little bit more, come together, such love does not make the loss worthwhile - but it makes it worth something.
With sympathy, A Friend
We all know who the anonymous family writer.....stand up for yourself, your family and YOUR SISTER. Dont be afraid to speak the truth. Remember... the truth will always set you free. You need not have to answer to anyone but our heavenly father. This is a place to open your heart to Maria and those love her....there is no need to hide your feelings and ultimatly the truth.
Hey mommy,
We just came back from Flordia today. As hard as it is to live these days without you, there was comfort in seeing Gina, Johnny, Kristina and I together. We actually sat and laughed together many times this week. I never really thought I'd see the day where that could happen again. I truly believe that the only thing that gets us through the day...is knowing you are resting peacefully now. When Kristina was on the plane, she wanted to sit by the window. She wanted to make sure she could be right next to her mommy in the sky. Isn't it amazing how great of a child she is?! You did a beautiful job on this little one mom. I hope you know how much we love you and miss you. Some people can't express it the way I can...but I know they feel the same way. Please momma help everyone find the same strength and peace you found within yourself. You will forever be my hero mom.
-Val-
xoxo
Maria, I cannot believe you are gone; I miss you so very much. A day never goes by without thinking of you. Not only did I lose my sister, I lost my best friend. The only thing that eases my heart is knowing that you are finally at rest. I know you are watching over us, please continue to do so. We all miss you; you are in our hearts forever. D
Lord, I want to lift Maria's family up in prayer to you. Please give them comfort, that only you can give. I wish I could make all the sadness go away. My heart is grieving for them. Its so hard to believe this all happened. Please keep this family going strong, united, and continuously supporting each other. Just the way my special friend, Maria, was while we had her among us. I love the "GJOLAJ" FAMILY, and will never forget the many memories I have with them. I am a better person because of this family. Bless them today Lord, In Jesus' name I pray. Lu Kalaj
In loving Memory of One of GODS..true Angels fearless in the natural & now your truly free to be & rest among your righteous people. Thank You for being my inspiration & strength. Thanks for blessing everyone with your presence. I won't forget you & will always love you.
Love you always.
GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL
Hey Sis,
We were all at mom's and dad's and we were watching those old concert videos with you, Dad, Leka, Dila, Lula, and Pauly. They were so cute! You girls had moves!!! So precious, you were always so beautiful...
I miss you so much it hurts. We all do. We are all moving along, as you would want us to but there is a void. We are all doing our best and we try to do things as we believe you would want them to be done so rest well. Everything will fall into place. It's amazing to see how much your little girl looks like you and how much your "Doctor" acts like you! You would be so proud! We all miss you so much, so much.
I love you and think of you often.
nore
There isn't a day that goes by, that I think of my "childhood" friend and the loss bestowed on those who knew you and need you. I pray for your family, your children - these that truly need you right now. Please Lord, may our hearts find comfort knowing Maria is in a better place, we just can't help feeling sad about her void. My spirit is in union with the Gjolaj family every day, even though my body is distant. May what we feel today, be realized in good tidings to come. Just thinking about you - Maria - in words today. Heartily, Lu Kalaj
Mommy,
Where could I even begin with you? Well first and foremost, I love you. & I miss you more then I have ever missed anyone in my entire life. Kristina spent a couple weeks at D's house & I of course wanted to stay with my precious little princess, and Joey and D. It was an amazing, yet exhausting two weeks. Boy, is Kristina energetic! I missed her soooo very much, it was amazing to just hold her tight and comfort her. I would watch her throughout the day, and notice that she was finally genuinely happy. It hurt to see her cry herself to sleep at night, but it was also so rewarding to see her smile during the day, when she was so preoccupied and forgot about all her heartache. I'd listen to her singing in the shower, and just start tearing up, because for a moment, she had some normalcy in her life. It hurts to see such a young soul have to go through all this heartache, but it is also so amazing because she is so strong! Just like her mother. She slipped and called me mommy a couple times, and a bitter sweet feeling came over me that was so overwhelming. I love her though, and I hope you are watching over her, because she needs you the most!
On the other hand, life's the same with me. ha I just moved into my new apartment with Gillian:) We are having a blast. School starts at the end of this month, and I'll be working until then. (like usual) There isn't a second of the day that I don't stop thinking about you. I catch myself slipping sometimes and pull myself back together, because I know that you'd be dissapointed if I just began giving up. I've been getting better though. You know all that garbage advice that everyone gives you when you lose a loved one? Well turns out its not so bad. It DOES get easier with time. I WILL never forget. And life WILL go on. Those were some of the worst things I felt like people could say at the time, but I was wrong. It helped. And now I finally appreciate that advice. I wish I could hear your voice one last time though, and tell you how great you are, and I wish I could hold your hand, just one last time. But I'll never get that chance. (wow it even breaks my heart typing that) You are MY HERO...never forget that!
xoxo
Val
Maria,
Hi my wonderful sister. Its been a long time since I last wrote. We’ve seen Kristina quite a bit lately which is real nice, she’s looking more like you. She planned a great surprise party for Val and it turned out really nice, you would be proud, she's so smart.
I have to admit that its really hard, they say that it gets easier with time but honestly, I don't think so. This week has probably been the hardest for me cuz you wont be here for Leka’s birthday, that is one day you never missed with the family, but this year we’re supposed to have it at D’s house, which will be real nice cuz it takes us out of this house, or at least me. Everyday I walk into an empty house, even though its full of people. It was so nice to have you here with me, staying up really late at night just talking til one of us fell asleep (usually me). I wish that I would of been there to listen a little bit more and talk a little bit less. I wish that I could of spent more time with you instead of hiding from everyone. I guess there was much more I could of done or said then but we can't go back in time and change things huh! I just wanted to say I'm sorry but sometimes sorry just ain't enough, but I truly am. I love you and I'm missing you like crazy. You deserved better then most people out of life, and I wish that you would of gotten that before leaving this world. I love you with all my heart and not having you here has been the hardest thing.
Tereze
reading all of this just brings tears to my eyes its just so beautiful but so heartbreaking its nice that you guys are keeping her memory alive. Hey Tereze i know we don't talk much anymore but I really miss you lifes been really weird without you you were my best friend and the only one person I ever trusted completely until lies and untrue statements were made but you know what Im passed that now I dont care what anyone says anymore because people have nothing better to do but talk shit talk there lies no matter who they hurt they dont care they become selfish but I still thank god though because Ive learned a big lesson dont believe what u hear unless you hear it for youself. but anyway hope your doing well and hope your family is doing well too god bless. from ME
Mommy,
I feel heartache, and sorrow for people who once knew and loved you. Most of all, I ache for Kristina. She is an amazing little princess, who is doing great. She laughs and plays, but you can sense that she isn't the same Kristina we once knew. Something is missing, and its you. She doesn't have that person to lean on, and care for her unconditionally. Although, she has many family members who love her and care for her, it is not the same. I wanted to let you know that she is doing better than every expected, but then again, what is expected of a child who bruitally loses both of her parents in a matter of minutes. One minute life is going pretty well (maybe not the best a child could have wanted), and the next her life crashes before her. It tears me up inside to even think about her feelings or thoughts that run through her mind all day and all night. I wonder sometimes if you visit her in her dreams, or if she walks down the street and sees your face on every person that ever passes her by? I wonder if every time she hears a child say, "mommy" she thinks about you, and wonders, why? I wonder all these things because they happen to me. I hurt most times of the day, and live life the other times. Yes, it seems easier, but at the same time I don't feel like I'm living the same life. It's all one big confusing mess, that I would love answers to, and I know many other people feel the same way. I love you so much, and miss you every second of everyday. Always know that I am here for you, and will not rest until I get your story across to people, and until people know how great of a woman you were and still are to me.
xoxo
-Val-
Momma,
So, I feel like I haven’t checked in for a while, and I thought I’d let you know how I’m doing….Well, everything is okay. Not good. Not great. Not even mediocre. It’s just as okay as its going to be…at least for a long while. School’s been tough, because all I can think about is you and Kristina. I’ve been praying for answers every night, and yet, there are none. I want to tell you how I really feel, and how much my heart aches for you, but I don’t know how. I feel angry and upset though; I can tell you that much. I’m jealous that God has you and we don’t. I’m disappointed in a lot of people. I cry every time I am alone. I’m lonely without you. But, then for a second, I stop and re-read what I write to you and notice how I complain about MY life so much, that I don’t think about YOU.
What I should be saying is…I miss you! You must finally be happy. I should be jealous of you; you’re the one who gets to live eternally in heaven. Lucky! You are probably sending me signs that are so obvious that they are hitting me in the face! You know how much I love you and miss you, I don’t need to write it down. You watch everyone from heaven and know who I’m disappointed in. I shouldn’t have to say. You are with me when I think I am all alone. You are the one I should be asking, “How are you doing?” You know, many people are selfish…they don’t know how good their lives are. You drew the short straw in life, and yet you appreciated all that was good in it. You are an amazing person. You are an example to all of us. You are an Angel.
Love and miss you always,
-Val-
xoxo
I can't believe 6 months have passed. I hope to hear great things about the family. Everyone misses you, and can't help but wish you were here. Lord, we trust Maria is resting and enjoying those streets of gold. May those who knew her, have confidence in the example and life she lead while she was among us. Thank you Lord for the memories she has left behind. Missing my friend, Lula.
Maria,
I have been on this site so many times but just didnt have the right words to say, and still dont. I think im still trying to understand everything. There are nights where I sit with Val and just cry to her because I hurt for her and the rest of your family. She has honestly become my BEST friend and I dont know what I would do without her. You did such an amazing job raising her. She is stonger than me 90% of the time. And Kristina is just the most precious girl. But I know your up in heaven watching down on them. You would be so proud to see how strong Val is through everything, she never stops amazing me. I wish you could be here to hear all of our crazy stories and see how close we've gotten. I will always remember you and the wonderful and beautiful person you were.
With Love,
Emilee
Emilee,
Your message last week touched me, and brought memories of my friendship with Maria, as we were young teenagers, as I was last able to enjoy. Maria too was my best friend during my childhood years until the age of 16, when she got married, and then a year later I got married. Your friendship with Val, was so comforting, yet took me back to those lovely years when I too would enjoy my "best friend." I believe its always appropriate to share good advice with those who are still among us. Although unsolicited, my advice to you, Emiliee and Val, is to cherish each moment you have, enjoy your friendship the fullest. Because there are "friends that stick closer than a sister." And in my case with Maria, she truly was "a friend closer than a sister" in the day for me. Thank you for adding your comment to Maria's blog, and for continuing to live out what Maria would have for her children. You probably didn't think your comment above would bless someone today, but your did. (Maria, thoughts of you today, with tears.)
Momma,
I'd like to give thanks to the 18 years of my life that you've been here for me. I miss you, but I will never forget all the perfect memories I have of you. If there is one thing I am thankful for this year...it is you. I love you. Happy Thanksgiving.
Val <3
Hi Maria,
It's been nine months today. I remember last year at this time talking about the holidays and the girls and what to buy them and having a glass of wine and thinking about how next year you would have your own tree and, well, we had so much fun and so many dreams for your future. I really miss not having you here to chat with. We did have some good conversations, both happy and sad. I know you are doing well and Christmas in heaven will be beautiful but there are some people down here who will have their first Christmas without you and you will be missed soooooo much!!! You are here with us though, in our hearts and in our memories. You were a great friend, Maria but most of all, a great mother. Miss you so much!
Merry Christmas my dear friend.
Love you,
Sandy
We've begun 2009, and we reflect on 2008. I understand that there is a time of sadness and a time to be glad. I pray for the Gjolaj family, and Maria's children, that 2009 is the year that brings them much joy, and lots of family bonding. I want you all to know, that I am wishing Maria's family new beginnings with great joy. Lu
hi maria
whats up its kristina and izzy we want to sing you a song
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you
i hope you liked that song
love izzy and kristina
Izzy and Kristina,
I love that song, very beautiful. I'm sure Maria loves the song too.
You know, "angels" are smiling down on you. Keep the poems coming, it keeps us all strong.
Lu
Hey Momma,
I want to start off by saying how much I miss you. Days, weeks, months and almost a year has gone by...since you left. I know you had leave, I know there are bigger and better things out there for you but it doesn't change how I feel about you being gone. It hurts, it really hurts. I haven't been complete without you. Although my friends do their very best to make sure I am happy all the time...there is still a void in my life. No one will ever be able to fill it, but you. I wish I knew what you were thinking right now. I wish you could give me direction. I wish you could be here to be my mommy, because no matter what age one reaches, everyone needs a mom. I feel like I'm doing the right things in life so I guess I'll just have to go with my intuition.
On that note, let me tell you what I have in mind with the direction I am headed. As we all know, what has happened was and still is a tragedy. But this was no random accident, contrary to popular belief. This was yet another case of Domestic Violence and you know what? I'm not going to let you just be another statistic. I'm going to speak out. That is actually what I plan to do on April 5th. I am publicly speaking about you and the many other Domestic Violence Victims and Survivors out there. It’s not fair to you to let "your story" (your entire life) just blow over like it was yesterday's headline. To me, you are my everyday headline. You are all I think about and you are all I ever want to think about. Some people are so very proud of me for speaking up for you, and others think it is foolish. Some people tell me that one person can't make a difference, but I believe I can. After all, you (being 1 single person) already made a difference in my entire life. Who or what is to say that I can't do the same? I know you used to say to just bite my lip and not speak up to people because it was embarrassing and you didn’t want to get in trouble, but guess what? I have no one to answer to and I'm not embarrassed to tell people the truth. I'm not embarrassed to be your daughter. I'm not embarrassed to tell your story, because it is the story of a hero, and all heroes should be remembered.
I love you
xoxo
-Val-
Val,
I am so proud of you. ONE person can make a difference. And if you only TOUCH one life, you have done a good thing. Keep the faith, and keep your mom's memory alive. She is and was a special woman. I see her strength in you, and look forward to seeing GREAT things in your life. Please keep blogging, because I come here to keep in touch with how you and the family is doing. I hope to be bigger part of your life in the future. I miss Maria, and feel I was cheated from the blessings of being a part of her life.
Maria,
It has been one year today. We think of you everyday. You are always in our hearts. We are so glad that Kristina came back to girl scouts so we can see her and keep in touch. She is such a beautiful little girl inside and out. Your daughters are absolutely wonderful with her. You should be very proud of all of them. We don't see your son very much, but when we do he's always very nice and has a beautiful smile...just like you!! We just wanted to let you know you and your family are always in our thoughts and prayers. We miss you.
Although we all know you are in a much better place, we miss you more than words could ever say. You are free in heaven full of peace and joy...you will never hurt again. Maria you truly are a hero, an amazing mother,sister, and friend. You continue to inspire our lives. You will never be forgotten...we deeply cherish all the beautiful memories we have of you...and you will forever be in our hearts........continue to watch over us...WE LOVE YOU......Rest in peace, Beautiful one.
Rosalyn xoxo
Happy Anniversary to you Maria. We rejoice with you in those streets of gold, with the angels. It was good to feel you among us yesterday as we celebrated your memorial. Good to see the family united in this common theme. I could feel you right there next to us, as we laughed and cried. Good times had, and some bad. But, I have to say with Pride, your memory lives on. I enjoyed as we shared late last night, Tommy, Teresa, Anna, Peter, Izzy, Your mom, and I, it was good. You are missed. Your friend, Lu
Where is the April 5th event that Val is speaking at? Teresa mentioned something was going on, but forgot to ask about details. I would love to see Val in action, in memory of her mom. Lu Kalaj 248-214-3319
Its that time to write down my thoughts of you on your birthday.... the good old 40.... would have been.... It was especially nice to talk to your mom. I have fond memories of you my dear friend. And miss you... I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday today. I hope your having a good day up there. Just wishing you were here, your missed by all of us... Lu
Hi Maria,
Sorry that I have not written you. I thought of you on your 40th and on Mother's Day, in fact, I think of you often. Just wanted to let you know that your wonderful daughter, Val, is working to make a difference in this world. A difference in your honor. We lost you but you will never be gone.....you will be honored in all the days to come. You blessed so many and will continue to do so. Thank you for being you. You and Val.....will make a difference. Love you my dear friend and I miss you so much!
Wow, such a blessing to see Maria's offspring, Val, bringing to the public eye, the memory of her mother. The angels are smiling. Its good to see Somthing good coming from a terrible situation. As I think of Val today, I commend Val for her efforts on TV, and would be honored to be a part of her ongoing endeavors to educate others how to escape "domestic violence." Lord, strengthen Val's efforts as I'm sure her rivals are out there. Love you Maria - Lu
Hey Mommy,
It's been a while. It's not that I haven't thought about you...God only knows that I think of you every second of everyday. It's just that I've been busy with school, work and volunteering. I know you've been seeing my efforts to spread Domestic Violence awareness...and I hope you can rest easy knowing that I will always carry you in my heart while spreading this awareness. Please know that although most people are very supportive of me...I would like you to know that, you and the many victims out there in this world are the people who need the support. I want everyone to learn from your life, acknowledge that they are not alone and feel that they have support in this world. I would also like to take a moment to thank you. Thank you for giving me life. Thank you for giving me your strength. Thank you for teaching me never to give up. Thank you for watching over me every day. And thank you for being my hero. I love you!
xoxo
-Val-
Thinking of you Maria, looking through some pictures this week. Wishing you were here..... Lu
Mommy,
Everyday I wake up and life goes on. From an outsiders point of view, they see it going on without you. I on the other hand, see a completely different picture. I see my life going on and as it does, you are right beside me. It pains me to think about my new way of life without you physicaly beside me, but I know somehow you have raised me to become strong enough to overcome the pain. You are there in my heart and that is what matters most. When I look back and remember all the wonderful memories I had with you, it saddens me to think that I will never have any new ones. Although it saddens me, it also makes me appreciate every last second I ever spent with you. I want you to know that I appreciate you more than life itself. I appreciate you as my mother, my best friend and as a role model to so many people out in this world. I want you to know that this charity event that we are putting on with Turning Point is in your honor. It is to show you how much we all appreciate you and everything you have ever done for anyone in this world. I want you to know that we appreciate your life and everything you stood for as an individual. Although it may seem that you are a Domestic Violence Victim, I believe that in a sense you are a Domestic Violence Survivor. I want you to know that your life and the story that goes along with it, will always be appreciated. If we stood here and let your story pass away with you, that would make you a victim. As you will always survive in our hearts, so will your story, for the rest of the world to learn.
I Love You!
xoxo
-Val-
Mommy,
I hope you enjoyed "Maria's Runway to Freedom!"...we did it in memory of you. I hope you know we all love you very much and will never forget you. Thank you for being my strength so that the event could be so successful. I cannot wait to have more events and spread Domestic Violence Awareness...with you in my heart and always guiding me along the way. I love you!
xoxo
Val
Mommy,
I came across this poem from a Survivor of Domestic Violence and in a terrible way it reminded me of how you once felt. I know it's impossible to find words to describe how Domestic Violence makes victims feel, so I thought I'd share this with everyone...and the only reason I am doing this is so people know that you aren't alone and that more needs to be done to end Domestic Violence everywhere.
I love you!
xoxo Val
My Silent Plea
All alone and frightened on the inside,
I say everything's fine, but have plenty to hide
Battered and bruised, but can't tell a soul,
I want out so bad, but he's got control.
Using threats and manipulation to keep me there,
Brainwashing me to think no one would care.
Robbed of my pride and feeling only shame,
He says it's my fault, so I shoulder the blame.
I'm so isolated from my family and friends.
If I ask for their help, he'll bring harm to them.
My heart is breaking, I need help so bad,
Yet I remain silent, lonely and sad.
No one understands the situation anyway,
Fear for my life is why I stay.
You'll never understand 'til you walk in my shoes,
So please don't condemn and say, "How can you…?"
I feel disgraced by your knowing looks,
We're women you know, your neighbors, or mothers
I want respect and love, just like you,
I'm tired of all the threats and abuse.
I feel so helpless, with no where to turn,
For protection and safety, I constantly yearn.
I want to live a life of my own,
Desperately wanting my plight to be known.
I hide the bruises behind make-up and smiles,
Hoping you'll notice, all the while.
Look past the smile, to my lifeless eyes,
Please notice the silence and the reason I'm shy.
Look at the way I limp when I walk,
Realize I won't look at you when I talk,
My movements may be awkward and slow,
I say I fell, but it's from last night's blows.
For every injury, I'll give an excuse,
But please don't turn away and say it's no use.
Notice he won't let me out of his sight,
Giving me no chance to reveal my plight.
Don't confuse his "doting" for love and affection.
Please see it as control, and give me protection.
I'm crying out the only way I know how,
Please reach out to me and help me now.
I long for your trust and the words, "It's okay"
Please reach out to me and show me a way.
To put an end to the fear and pain,
To get back my pride and self-worth again.
I'm desperately needing compassion and help,
I feel there's no one to rely on, only myself.
My frightened cries are longing to be heard,
Please look at the signs, my unspoken words.
Just open your eyes, all the signs are there,
And see my silent plea for someone to care.
For if you ignore my problem and wait,
"One Day" for me, may be just "one Day" too late.
Written by Peneleope House
hi maria its me izzy i miss u so much their hasent been a day i havent thought about you, missed my bday party it was the best the theam was toy story 3 but it would of had the final touch if you were there but i new you were there because i felt more than just coupeny i felt a true freind
love izzy
hi maria its izzy i just wanted you to know how much we all miss you well got to go rest in pease
love izzy
No matter how much I tell myself that time heals everything...that is completely and undeniably untrue. Each second I think about losing you over and over, brings excruciating heartache. For once, I'd like to leave you with a positive remark....
For six months you were undeniably happy,
For six whole months you walked with your head up high,
After 22 years of imprisonment, you broke free,
After 22 whole years of secrets, you showed the world, your family and your friends the truth about your tribulations.
Heroes never surrender,
Heroes give their lives for people they love,
Heroes are never truly defeated...their legacies live on.
You are my hero. Always and Forever.
Love you. -Val
Our Hearts Are Broken Forever
Maria our hearts are broken forever,
People tell us that in time the pieces will eventually come back together,
If this is true, though hard to believe now, there will always be a space,
The piece to which has your name on its place.
Tears have been falling now for so long,
When we think of your beautiful face it all seems so wrong
You had so much to look forward to and so much left to do
But God needed somebody in heaven who is as special as you.
Nothing is the same now and we doubt it ever will be
You have been released from pain and suffering, you have been set free.
Your story has touched people, all ages, near and afar
On the night you were taken from us, in the sky was a lone twinkling star.
Was that you to tell us that you had reached home now?
And from life as we knew it, it was time for you to take your final bow.
We miss your voice, your infectious laugh and hearing you sing.
Fashion you loved and now you have new accessories a pair of Angel’s wings.
The world has lost a wonderful women, a true and amazing friend.
But maybe her goodness was needed to help and from heaven she needed to send.
Maria you are always around us, engulfing us with your love
Giving us strength, keeping us close and watching over us from above.
Grace Bourke
I miss you so much!
Here we are coming up on five years and still no break, still caring on with feelings of failure that i did not do more, that i didn't protect you the way I should have. I see your face everywhere from a stranger on the street to the look of innocence on my child's eyes, the pain has not lessened. I grieve daily not letting people know my pain and even five years later I wake up at night and roam the house thinking about you endlessly. I've never posted anything about you and I'm not sure why I am now, I guess it's just this uncureable pain I feel knowing that I lost you forever and that we really never had enough time. My life has changed so much since you we're taken away and it kills me to know that you were not here to experience it with me, I guess this is the personal hell I will deal with the rest of my life. I know you are in heaven still lookin out for me like you have my whole life and I just hope I can make it there to see your face one more time, forever in my heart and with all my love you were the most special one of all of us. My god bless you always and may he give you the happiness that you never got in this world, love you always.
@LU KALAJ:
Excuse me, LULA DEDVUKAJ KALAJ,
but wasn't Maria MORE than your "childhood friend"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she your FIRST COUSIN?
If memory serves, HER father and YOUR mother are siblings.
Why obscure your true bond? To save face, perhaps?
Yes, one person CAN make a difference but did YOU even try?
You and everybody else knew damn well she was being abused,
yet you did NOTHING to help her. She did not have to die.
Now here you are praising her for putting others first,
which only cost her her life. And writing all these pretty
and "spiritual" words that are utterly pointless.
(By the way, voids don't "ripple" because they're empty)
So easy to just stand by and talk pretty, isn't it?
Like throwing food to a corpse. Useless.
But hey, like you said, she's with the Lord now,
never mind what happened to her on the way to Heaven.
Still trying to "save face" when the more honorable thing
would have been to bow your head in shame.
Rest in peace, dear Maria.
You deserved so much more than the cowards who "forgot"
to protect you when they had the chance.
Their silence, your death.
Their hands, your blood.
"ALL are punished!"
SUGGESTION:
Remove the killer's name for the stain it is
and replace it with Maria's maiden name GJOLAJ.
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